I am sitting here with a nice fat ankle, slightly amused at how I came to acquire this rather pathetic injury...In all reality, it was only a matter of time before I crashed my bike, in fact I am surprised it has taken me this long, ok I did fall off a borrowed bike last week while attempting to race amazing race style to the train...I failed, the bike was too big, I ended up sprawled over the road in front of a very patient car, however it wasn’t that dramatic because the bike was stationary. I wish I could say that either, if not both of the stacks were graceful...however in both cases I think I probably resembled a drunk octopus more than anything else, arms and legs flailing everywhere. Oh well, at least I wasn’t wearing a dress. Today, the reason I fell was because I don’t have the most amazing coordination and while pedalling along, Kristin pointed out a eagle, amazed, I stopped paying attention to where I was riding, before I knew it I was centimetres from hitting the pram/trailer that Junior was riding in, so I swerved and well ending up eating grass and doing a number on my ankle.

Ok, ok, the day other than this little incident was amazing! 

We rode for about 25km (that’s like 50 in total, Ben and Phill I thought you’d be proud) along the river and through amazing coble stone towns to a place called Untereisenheim for lunch. At one point I was riding past some blossoming apple trees, I was a taken back by the beauty around me and this dream that is my reality. I have to keep reminding myself that this is my life, my home for now. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able explore this incredible country all while being supported and loved by a family whose heart is so huge! Not to mention care for a little boy who has found a place in my heart that I didn’t even know existed. I can only imagine that this love is just a fraction of what a parent feels for the own child, but heck I have never felt so overwhelmed with love and the need to protect someone like this before. I mean it helps that he is criminally cute and while he English is amazing, he has his own little ways that just make my heart smile, like when he says “Lori, come play by me”, or “come sit by me” he has also taken to calling his dad Pappy and me Lori Nicole Wahl. What a blessing, it makes me feel a little sick to think the day will come when I have to get one a plane and leave him here!

 Anyway, I also want to just give a shout out today to my baby brother. Who today turned 21! When did you go from being little Beauy to a grown man? I know I am only 4 years older than you, but I don’t ever remember a time, when to me, you weren’t my baby brother, but then today I was reminded of a few things. Firstly, you have always been wise beyond your years, do mistake me, I know you have your typical 20 year old moments, but heck, I remember the days where I would leave uni early and pick you up from school, we would go to GJ’s and have ice chocolates. I would tell you all my woes and you, in all your 15 years of experience and wisdom would love me and tell me the truth, even if I didn’t want to hear it.

 Still to this day you are my confidant, whom I call at 2am in tears over a boy, or when I don’t know what to do about something, when I am stressed, sad, lonely, but for me the most important one, was the night I called you, my heart in pieces, a mess on my lounge room floor, having just had my heart shattered for the last time by our father. That night, you were my miracle, I know that if I had have insisted, you would have got on a plane right then. You calmed me down, and gently reminded me that it was His loss, and His responsibility, that I had nothing to apologise for or feel bad about. I needed that. It seems odd to me that my baby brother, in fact that both my brothers bail me out in different ways so often, I mean I am the eldest and feel like I should be the one looking out for you, but you know I guess our mums’ raised us well, because we have grown to become more than siblings, we somewhere somehow through all the mess of life and youth we became friends.

I am proud of you both, though today is Beau’s birthday so I want to say...Beauy, I am so incredibly proud of you, of the man you are, of the life you live, of your talents and passion. Of your heart and the way in which you love, you have such an incredibly beautiful way with words and look at life in a way that so many people could benefit to mimic. I have 4 years on you, yet I am not entirely sure there is so much I could offer you in terms of wisdom but I will say this, laugh... a lot, embrace life, chase your dreams, allow yourself to be amazed, stop, look around you,......side note, sorry I am easily distracted but my eyes just swelled with tears for the 3^rd time today, Junior just came bounding into my room, jumped up next to me “Here Lori, I made this for you, it’s a kowaala bear, it has red and lellow and white...don’t kill it, it’s for you”...When I tried to give the playdoh back to him, he exclaimed “No, you keep it, I made it for you”...30 seconds later he returns running on his tippy toes “Lori where is your kowaala bear?...I take it, I look after it for you, it’s for Lori, it’s ok don’t cry, I come back soon...” Oh heck I am known to be emotional, (Ben Bourke no comment from you!) BUT I think I am destined to end up crying at anything the resembles an feeling!

Ok...Beau , I am back, I want you to do the things that scare the hell out of you, I have learnt they are always the most worthwhile, don’t stop learning, don’t stop questioning, even if you are questioning God, don’t ever stop, he is big enough to handle it, and well the world needs more people to question the ways of the world. Love Lucia, because I think she is amazing, and Beau, love and believe in yourself, because you have untold potential and a heart that can make your dreams come true. Also, never ever doubt just how much your family loves you! I hope you had the most amazing birthday! Sorry I couldn’t be there...

But for now, imagine we are cruising down the M4 singing this song...

I'm just a kid, living a dream
Slid in the scene like an old pair of jeans
You know my name, but you don't know me
Wanna go out with me? Show me.

Come, come summertime
Love, love, hold my hand
Don-don-don-do-don-don-do-don-don
Don't be shy
Come, come summertime
Love, love, take a ride with me
Don-don-don-do-don-don-do-don-don
Don't be shy

Black smoke billow out the black tinted window
In my black limousine as I ride through the ghetto...

Happy birthday Beauy...

Well, I know it’s been a while and for that I am sorry, but not however sorry for the amazing 2 weeks I have had, travelling and meandering through Madrid and spending the Easter long weekend with my German family in the mountains waking up to snow! Which by the way hasn’t happened at Easter time in over 20 years! Blessed! However, while I have every intention of eventually gracing all you lovely people with the highs and lows of my last 2 big adventures, there are some things that have been playing on my mind, and some things I need to say. As a precursor let me just say that I do not claim to be an expert on the following things, nor am I naive enough to believe that my opinions on these matters are the only ones...but,

After some lengthy discussions with an old friend and some deep thought recently, I have become acutely aware at just how often it seems that we, as Christians seem to think that offering up a prayer is enough to acquit us from having to actually be Christ’s hand and feet and act when someone is hurting. Please do not mistake me, I know firsthand the power and importance of prayer, believe me and I am by no means saying that praying for someone is pointless or a cop out, I do however believe that sometimes we forget that maybe, just maybe we are the answer to prayer. We are the ones God sent to help, to heal, to love? We need to have faith in action, not just in words and I do not want to get to the end of my life and realise that I never stopped to consider someone’s needs above my own. I am so tired of hearing about all that Christians do wrong or don’t do at all, not because I think Christian’s are taking a beating unnecessarily (though some are and I will never know that sort of persecution) mostly it’s because all too often the claims against Christian’s are true. For instance, the judgement thing, I recently read a blog that in essence was discussing the way so many people are “Christians” unless you happen to be, fat, poor, homeless, broken, depressed, gay, ugly, stupid, a little odd, not so fashion savvy, outspoken or somewhat different to them. If you are, well it’s just too hard to love you. BULL! 

Arghhh it makes me so mad that we think we have a right to pick and choose those that we are willing to love and help! God’s love does not discriminate. EVER. Nothing we do or say can increase or diminish His love, so how dare we only offer our love when it suits us, or is easy. I am not saying you have to be best friends with everyone, I know firsthand the toll that takes on a person, but you and I have no right to decide who is worthy of love depending on their appearance, way of life, religion, beliefs, education, status or wealth. Is it easy to give love indiscriminately? Hell NO! But does that mean we shouldn't try? NO! It means we should be depending on God to love us and then in return love His children, the ones He designed and created.

I am not a perfect, I do not love perfectly, or indiscriminately, but I want to try, I want to offer my all to the people that come my way, I don’t want to be cynical, or bitter, or a poor example of Christ. Please do not mistake me, this is not an attack on anyone in particular, if anything it is more of a discussion and battle with my own faith and knowing how to live it out in order to avoid being one of those “Christians”, I have just become so acutely aware recently of just how much people are responsible for keeping people out of Church. Generally non church goers, or non Christians, are not avoiding the faith or church because of God, but because of the people. I want to change this. I need to change this, and so, I will start with me. Just as Ghandi once said “Be the change you want to see in the world”...Thus begins the challenge to shed all I don’t want to be remembered for, and live to love. Indiscriminately.