A letter to my 16 year old self
Dear Lori,
Oh gosh
there is so much I want to say to you, so much I have had to learn the hard
way. However, looking back over the past ten years, which has gone by so
incredibly quickly mind you, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned, the journeys
I have been on, the paths I explored and the people that I met. I wouldn't change
any of it, it brought me here, to this place, this time, this me. But there are
a few things I want to say, things I hope make some of the darker days a little
easier.
Drink more water and don’t eat mushrooms
Wear sunscreen, there really is nothing healthy about a tan,
and while 26 may seem like a long time away, it will sneak up on you, far
quicker than you think. And you’ll kick yourself for not choosing the 30+ sunscreen
when you start seeing your first wrinkles appear and the 20 year old at the bar
stops asking you for ID.
School will get better, you will be okay, and the world keeps
turning even when you think failing an exam or assignment will mean the end of
it. Some of your favourite memories will be made school, but when you leave, it’s
not the end, it’s just the end of the beginning, be sad for a moment, hug your
friends, but let go. Work hard, it will pay off, and those kids that made your
cry, one day, you’ll look back and smile, and realise they did you a favour.
Your heart will get broken, and that’s ok, it will hurt, and
it will feel like your world is crashing down, but I promise, the world will
spin madly on, and that boy, you’ll forgive him, and in ten years time he will
still be one of your greatest friends. You’ll
be glad that you were brave enough to be honest, and risk looking like a fool.
It will set the tone for future strength and courage when it comes to wearing
your heart on your sleeve, and I promise, you’ll never regret being honest with
how you feel, even if it doesn’t end the way you had hoped. It will always be
worth it in the end.
Don’t worry about not having a boyfriend, Mum was right when
she said, make friends, they last longer. You’ll have plenty of time, and be
glad that you didn’t waste it on boys that weren’t worth it. You will grow
neck, it eventually gets longer, don’t worry, oh and eye brows? They come
through too, they get thicker and darker. Love your boobs, they are not going
anywhere, and certainly won’t get smaller. (at least not until you’re around
25)
Save your money, believe me, there is nothing you want or
need to so bad at that age, save it. You will thank me one day, probably when
your first car is stolen, or when the second one blows up, or perhaps when you
roll the third one in an epic Bond style accident minus the pyrotechnics.
Forgive, your friends, your father, yourself. It will save
you a lot of heart ache and pain. People come and go, that’s ok, relationships
are seasonal, some last a long time, some for just the summer. But don’t cry
because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Listen to your Mum, she really does know best, about pretty
much everything. She’s been there, and loves you enough to tell you the truth
even if it’s not what you want to here. When she tells you to stand up
straight, listen to her, your back will thank you, and you’ll be able to save
on chiropractic bills. She’ll always tell you if your bum looks big, or if your
hair looks terrible, it may sting, but when you look back on photos, you’ll
thank her. But most importantly, don’t stop talking to her, she will one day
become your best friend, and quite honestly the most amazing woman you know.
Trust your instincts, turns out they are spot on most of the
time, do not however listen to the voice in your head that puts you down, calls
you fat, tells you that you can’t do it, that you are not enough, that you
never will be. You...as you are; are loved, you more than enough, and you can
achieve anything you set your mind too, sometimes it may take a little longer
than you’d like, but you’ll get there in end. We accept the love we think we
deserve, you deserve more than what you are currently willing to settle for,
much much more.
Don’t stop questioning, the ways of the world, how things
work, God, the injustices you see. You will doubt, you will struggle, but the
truth will set you free, and you’ll be okay, even in those moments where the
darkness creeps in and you lose your way, the light will find you, always.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that, hate cannot drive
out hate, only love can do that. And God will never leave you.
Stand up to the bullies, then forgive them, there is a good
chance they are just as insecure and as unsure as you. Don’t dramatize everything;
pick your battles because some things are just not worth the fight. Particularly
with your brothers, they very quickly become bigger and stronger than you. But
they also become two of your closest friends in whom you confide and turn to on
a regular basis.
Buy a watch and wear it, learn to be on time, if not for
your sake right now, then for mine, because I celebrate these days if I am only
10 minutes late. (And that is believe it or not quite an accomplishment).
There will be obstacle and challenges you face, at times it
will feel as though you are alone and might possibly be swallowed by the pain
of it all. I promise you will survive, the wounds will heal, you will learn and
it will make you stronger, and you are never alone. The first year you move out
of home is a tough one, be wise, you know better, and believe me when I say it
is not the answer, and it is not worth it. It will change one day, I promise,
you know what I mean.
You are good at listening to other people, helping with
their problems, consoling them, healing them being the friend they need right
when they need you. Do not however become so wrapped up in other people’s lives
that you forgot to live yours. Do not let the “need to save” mask your own hurt
and pain to the point where it becomes buried so deep that you forget it’s
there. Let people in, let people help. Feel the hurt, feel the disappointment,
then let it go, and forgive. Spend quality time with you, don’t be afraid of
who you are, turns out you are actually pretty great company, with a lot to
offer the world and the people in your life, not to mention yourself.
And believe me when I say, you are beautiful, you do matter,
you are brave and strong and worthy. The next ten years are going to bring to
you some phenomenal people, some life changing experiences, some hard lessons
and heartbreak, but all of it will be worth it, because you will go on some of
the most amazing adventures, and live out dreams that you haven’t even dreamt.
You will create memories that will last a life time, and touch people’s lives
in way you could never have imagined. Embrace life darling, jump in, take
risks, and enjoy it. I promise it will all be worth it!
I love you!
Love always,
your best friend
